Week 56 - What you say is not what others hear 😝

Author

Yurii Lazaruk
April 05, 2026

Hey my friend, today I’ll share how differently people may think about your intentions and what keeps me going on no matter what!

So let’s dive in 😉😉

Try This Yourself

"All people are different people." - I learned it from Coach Beard the very first time I saw Ted Lasso (yes-yes, I rewatched it many times 😅). And I’m still surprised HOW different people are.

I’ve shared before how I decide whom to connect with, and this week I’ve received two very interesting messages:

  1. “First off, apologies I never replied. Tbh it came through as we connected and I wrote it off as spam. Having absorbed a lot of your content the last few weeks, I'm much more open to conversing. “

  2. “It's funny.. I thought you were reaching out to genuinely connect only. I feel like you came with an interest in mind. Just like most of the people who DM because they need something... guess the old days of LinkedIn are gone.”

Both messages were from community builders.

The first message I received after asking about a challenge a person faces, so maybe there is anything I can help them with right away. When I asked the first person why they thought so, they told me it was because of “it was a wall of text and emojis from someone I didn't know”— well, fair enough 😅

The second one came after I asked if there is one book, podcast, or newsletter about community building that this person prefers.

So, a backstory is that some looong time ago, I created “Community books” and “Community podcasts” ratings where I gathered all the podcasts and books around community I’ve heard about. And recently, after talking to a person who does the same, I decided to update my lists, and also created “Community newsletters,” because I read some of those, and just love them!

I call them “ratings” because I ask real people about stuff they like, and based on the votes, make a rating—easy-peasy 😁 I do that because it’s helping me, and why not to help others 🤓

Even though I understood why the first person thought I was spamming, I still have no idea why the second person thought I connected because I needed something from them (but I’ll find out) 🤷‍♂️

And I’m super honest—I don’t really use a unique connection message.

The initial message is this:

“Hey Name, I'm here because I just wanted to connect with a fellow expert from the Community World, so let's do it 👋😊”

After that, I sent a follow-up explaining why exactly I want to connect with them:

“Name, thank you so much for accepting my connection request 🤗

I'm running a Community ROI podcast, and with many of my guests, I have the first conversation ever only while recording an episode itself, and I decided to change it, and meet community folks upfront 😅

so I'm going to amazing humans I know, check activity under their posts, and search for community folks with whom we have mutual connections, and just invite them to connect 🤓

and you're definitely one of them, we have a ton of mutual connections, which means that most likely we'll click, too 🤗

so yeah, once again, thank you for accepting my request, and I'm happy to connect with you! 🤩”

So now, after feedback about “a wall of text”, I changed the second one to this:

“Name, thank you so much for accepting my connection request 🤗

I've been in the international community world for 4 years already and met hundreds of amazing community experts

and there are still so many more folks who are moving the community industry forward with whom we're not connected yet, so I decided to just go and fix it 🤓

so yeah, once again, thank you for connecting with me here 🤗”

Smaller, 3 emojis instead of 5, and not even mentioning the Community ROI podcast (who knows, maybe it feels offensive to someone 🙈).

The reasons I’m not using unique initial messages are:

  • I genuinely want to meet more people from Community World

  • I have the same intention of connection—to grow and thrive together—and I connect only with people whose profiles I found interesting (yes-yes, I checked them personally, no auto-invite).

When someone accepts my request, there is no guarantee they will answer. Some people accept every request to “grow numbers.” And even a follow-up message doesn’t mean they will write anything back. So that’s when I’m asking them about a book, podcast, or newsletter, and kindly propose to share with them the lists I make. Of course, only if they are interested.

And from the moment a person answers me, it’s full of me. As genuine as I am. No more templated messages. But we need to start somewhere 😏

The fun thing is that usually, people are open to sharing their go-to resources. And very much appreciate what I’m doing for the community industry (yes-yes, of course I like hearing nice words 😊).

But, no matter how hard I try to be helpful, there will always be someone who thinks I want to use them and gain something because of them. And it’s okay.

"All people are different people." Remember that! 😉

tl;dr: While connecting with many people, templated messages save you time and allow you to make a first step. The more you talk to people, the more you will refine your templates. Still, no matter how honest you are and how genuine your messages are, there will always be someone who will not like you. And it’s okay. Move on. There are 8 billion more out there!

Expand Your Mindset

When I record a podcast with someone, or just meet them on a coffee chat, I keep hearing people saying it over and over again: “Yurii, I love your energy!”

So here is what helps me to be energetic:

  • True belief in what I’m doing.

  • A planned daily routine.

  • Music, walks, and Wim Hof’s method.

First of all, I’m a freelancer and community builder myself, so I totally believe that human connections make people’s lives better. And you don’t need to be employed full-time and managed to deliver the best results. So when I speak with others, and it’s mostly about community or freelancing, I don’t need to fake that I love what I’m doing, because I actually love it 🤩

Secondly, every Friday I plan my next week and list tasks for every day from Monday to Friday on how I plan to deal with them. It looks like this:

Of course, it’s not that perfect. I never know what will be the first and what will be the last. So I just list them in a random order, and at the beginning of every day, I list them how I feel like doing them. Also, the sequence can change during the day based on what I actually do and how (and also some urgent incoming tasks).

And finally, every day I do 3 things:

All those things keep me motivated, focused, effective, productive, calm, and even happier, so try it yourself 😉

tl;dr: Believe in what you do, plan your routine, have some movements with good music, and you’ll be much more energized!

So yeah, that’s it for this week, and if you have any questions, thoughts, ideas, or personal examples of how to build better human connections, please answer this email, or connect with me on LinkedIn, and let’s talk 🤗🤓

💡 What influenced me this week 💡

Thoughts of the week:

  • “There is always someone one step behind you in a professional journey, so sharing your experience is super valuable.” - Vin Matano, Creators Spotlight podcast

  • “When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.” - Otto von Bismarck, The Economist Daily Quotes

  • “The Spotlight Effect basically says that we think everyone else is noticing and judging us, but they aren't. Even if they are, they quickly forget about it.” - Sahil Bloom’s newsletter

  • “You aren't afraid of failure. You're afraid of other people seeing you fail. You're afraid of what other people will think of you if you fail.” - Sahil Bloom’s newsletter

Song of the week:

Book and quotes of the week:

“It is really not the number of things you do, but the EFFICIENCY of each separate action that counts.”

“ he best way, generally, to change a business or environment is by growth.”

“You must so impress others that they will feel that in associating with you, they will get an increase for themselves.”

Tools that I use with referrals:

  • Descript - for anything around podcasting and video editing

  • Beehiiv - for a newsletter (that’s what you receive 😅)

  • Text Blaze - to access message templates with shortcuts (like “/ty”)

  • Exali - promo “FROMYURII” - indemnity insurance for independent experts in Europe

  • Manus - for building complex systems and projects

Daily actions:

  • tell 1 person what I’m thankful to them for

  • read a self-development book/listen to a professional podcast for 15 minutes

  • make a valuable post/comment on LinkedIn

  • tag 15 people in my connections database

  • connect with 30 interesting people on LinkedIn

  • invite 5 people to join the 👋Friendworking newsletter

Weekly actions:

  • transcribe one new episode of the Creator Spotlight podcasts, learn something from them, and connect with guests on LinkedIn

  • connect 2 people who I believe need to be connected

  • invite 30 people to follow the Community ROI podcast (and ask for some feedback).

If you have any thoughts, ideas, or questions, please 👇

And if you’d like to have more 👋 Friendworking in your life 👇

See you next week! 👋