Week 53 - You have to stop to move forward ✋

Hey my friend, all is good! The client I wrote about last time settled the payment, so I can come back to being extra kind 😅

Still, last week made me rethink where I’m putting my time. So I decided to sunset The Humans of Business podcast, where I interviewed business owners about human traits that help them grow their businesses.

The thing is that it was the podcast I was doing purely for fun. I met great humans. Asked them anything I wanted about everything human. Learned from them. What else do I need?

Actually, I needed time to focus on what I do both for fun and professional development—the Community ROI podcast. And for that, I had to leave something behind 🤓

The same thing happens to human connections. Most likely, you’ve had a great friend in school (college, university, previous workplace, you name it) with whom you haven’t been in touch for years. And when you think about them, it makes you feel bad that you don’t keep in touch anymore. Right? 😏

Well, throughout life, we go different paths and meet hundreds of new people in different settings. And there is a Dunbar number—”a suggested cognitive limit of approximately 150 individuals with whom a human can maintain stable, meaningful social relationships”—which means that we have limits to meaningful connections.

Of course, people are different people. Someone can exceed this number, and someone will never reach it. Still, to move forward qualitatively, you will need to part ways with some of the people in your life. And it’s okay. Just accept it.

tl;dr During your life, you’ll end some meaningful human connections to start new ones that are the best fit for where you are in the moment. Don’t blame yourself, accept it, and move on.

Still, here is the trick I use to keep in touch even with those folks 😏👇

Everyone likes their birthdays (okay, 99% of people do 😅). So I track the birthday dates of the folks I have a stronger connection with, and message them nice wishes on that day. Usually, it sparks some random conversation, and it doesn’t even feel like we haven’t spoken for the whole year!

Adam Galinsky, in his book Inspire, shared an example of a leader with over 1200 employees:

Of course, you might not have 1200 people on your list (do you? 😏), but messaging even a few people in a month will definitely strengthen your connections.

If you want to go an extra mile—call them, it’ll be very unexpected (people don’t do this anymore), and in a few years these folks will call you on your birthday, too. I tried it, and it works exactly that way 😉

And how do you know their birthday date? The easiest way is to ask! 😅

Still, you can find them on LinkedIn. Go to “My network→Catch up→Birthdays”, and you will find birthdays for the last 10-14 days.

tl;dr People want to be seen. Sending some nice wishes on their birthday is one of the best ways to make them feel seen. And, it strengthens your connection 🤗

On another note, I use the free Duolingo tier. To go through the lessons, I need enough energy points. The maximum is 25, and if it’s lower than 15, they show this message:

The thing is, when you answer right to 4-5 questions in a row, you get extra points, and even 15 points is enough to go through the lesson. But they do not believe in us. They think we’ll fail, and propose that we get extra points in some ways.

The same happens with humans. No matter how pure your connection intent is, not everyone will believe you. And it’s okay. Stick to your inner values, and keep on building your friendwork 🤗

So yeah, that’s it for this week, and if you have any questions, thoughts, ideas, or personal examples of how to build better human connections, please answer this email, or connect with me on LinkedIn, and let’s talk 🤗🤓

💡 What influenced me this week 💡

Thoughts of the week:

• “Fear cannot be banished, but it can be calm and without panic; it can be mitigated by reason and evaluation.” - Vannevar Bush, daily quotes by The Economist

• “Without belief, behavior and benefit collapse. If you do not believe that your action (behavior) can create your desired outcome (benefit), you simply won't do it.” - Sahil Bloom’s newsletter

Song of the week:

Book and quotes of the week:

$100M Offers: How To Make Offers So Good People Feel Stupid Saying No by Alex Hormozi

“You want to be ‘the guy’ who services ‘this type of person’ or solves ‘this type of problem.’ And even more niched ‘I solve this type of problem for this specific type of person in this unique counter-intuitive way that reverses their deepest fear.‘”

“If you try one hundred offers, I promise you will succeed. Most people never try anything. Others fail once, then give up. It takes resilience to succeed.”

“If your offer doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean you suck. It means your offer sucks. ”

Tools that I use with referrals:

• Descript - for anything around podcasting and video editing

• Beehiiv - for a newsletter (that’s what you receive 😅)

• Text Blaze - to access message templates with shortcuts (like “/ty”)

• Exali - promo “FROMYURII” - indemnity insurance for independent experts in Europe

• Manus - for building complex systems and projects

Daily actions:

• tell 1 person what I’m thankful to them for

• read a self-development book/listen to a professional podcast for 15 minutes

• make a valuable post/comment on LinkedIn

• tag 15 people in my connections database

• connect with 30+ interesting people on LinkedIn

• invite 5 people to join the 👋Friendworking newsletter

Weekly actions:

• transcribe one new episode of the Creator Spotlight and Personal IPO (bi-weekly) podcasts, learn something from them, and connect with guests on LinkedIn

• connect 2 people who I believe need to be connected

• invite 30 people to follow the Community ROI podcast (and ask for some feedback).

If you have any thoughts, ideas, or questions, please 👇

And if you’d like to have more 👋 Friendworking in your life 👇

See you next week! 👋