Week 48 - Just smile and wave 👋

Hey my friend, I have something to confess - I’m a bookworm 😲😅 and just this year, I’ve already eaten 6 books, and still have 5 in progress, and it’s not just about knowledge, but also about connecting with other humans.

If someone tells me they like reading books, I always ask them, what was the latest book they admired, and why, and add it to my reading list with the tag of who exactly told me about it.

If I like a book, I always come back to the person who told me about it, tell them how much I liked it and why, and say “thank you” for that. It really strengthens the connection because people are happy when something they advised worked for someone else, and also they are usually surprised that I remember they told me about the book, which means that I do pay attention to their words, not just smile and nod out of politness 😉 

If I dislike the book, well, maybe we’re not having the same vibe 🤷‍♂️ Once I read 2 books advised by a person I thought we had something in common, but after reading them, I understood that not really 😅

And a very special connection happens when I read a book by someone I know. It feels very... different. It's like entering a personal, vulnerable conversation! Here are some great books I’ve just finished reading from amazing humans I know, so go check them out, and definitely connect with them! 🤗

tl;dr: When someone tells you about the book they like, write down the title and the name of this person, and after reading it, if you liked it, go give your feedback and tell them “thank you”. It’ll definitely strengthen your connection!

On another note, on Wednesday morning, we went to the city administration to get some documents done for my kid, and usually I try to avoid going anywhere close to the city centre during weekdays because of traffic jams and almost impossible to find a parking space, but we had a specific time, and we had to do that 🤷‍♂️

When we arrived there, surprisingly, there was a free parking slot, but it was not a perfect fit for my car because of the snow piles that had eaten up some space. But since I was waiting in the car, even though I was occupying some small part of the road (not critical for moving cars), I parked there anyway.

A few minutes later, a garbage truck stopped right near me, and the garbage men started angrily shouting and telling me to park deeper, and, instead of shouting back, I kindly told them that I could, but it would take a long time since I don’t want to damage my car. They said some gibberish again and went to deal with garbage bins.

The fun part was that I didn’t actually block them from doing their work; they had free access to garbage bins. It was just that the driver stopped too close to my car, and it was not easy for them to get out of the truck (even though the driver could have stopped a few metres ahead, but it was not the way they're used to).

And a few days later, here is what I heard from Jefferson Fisher, a communication expert, on the DOAC podcast:

If somebody insults you and you react emotionally, people don’t just listen to what you say; they watch how you react. If you don’t react, or you laugh, suddenly everyone watching thinks, “Okay, maybe that insult isn’t true.” Your reaction tells people how to interpret the moment.

That’s exactly what happens in our conversations every day. If we hear something we dislike, the easiest way is to react (show or tell a person about it), but if we don’t react angrily, or even smile (and wave 😅) and kindly continue (or stop) the conversation, we are not allowing this person to win over our emotions. And if we control emotions, we control the conversation!

tl;dr: Whenever someone is trying to insult you or put you out of balance, don’t play by their rules. First of all, smile, it’ll win for you 99% of such situations, or just kindly continue or leave the conversation.

So yeah, that’s it for this week, and if you have any questions, thoughts, ideas, or personal examples of how to build better human connections, please answer this email, or connect with me on LinkedIn, and let’s talk 🤗🤓

💡 What influenced me this week 💡

Thoughts of the week:

• “There is no past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present.” - James Joyce, The Economist’s quote of the day

• “Low expectations for things outside your control. High expectations for things within it.” - Sahil Bloom’s newsletter

• “Mistakes make those who are competent even more likable, but they decrease the likability of those who are incompetent.” - Nudge podcast

• “Books on the common traits of successful people fail to consider all of the unsuccessful people who had those same traits.” - Sahil Bloom’s newsletter

• “The most dangerous data point is the one you never see. The unseen is just as important as the seen.” - Sahil Bloom’s newsletter

• “Repeat the same messages, repeat the same stories, your own stories, over and over again until people finally understand what you stand for. And when they understand, they just auto engage.” - Hala Taha, The StoryBrand podcast

Song of the week:

Book and quotes of the week:

Finding Your Voice by Richard Berkeley-Dennis

• “It's often easier to not really listen than to hear something we don't want to acknowledge.”

• “The journey of finding your voice, of living authentically, of speaking with integrity, this is the work of a lifetime.”

• “The world needs people who have done the hard work of finding their voice and have the courage to use it.”

Tools that I use with referrals:

• Descript - for anything around podcasting and video editing

• Beehiiv - for a newsletter (that’s what you receive 😅)

• Text Blaze - to access message templates with shortcuts (like “/ty”)

• Exali - promo “FROMYURII” - indemnity insurance for independent experts in Europe

• Scripe - to write better posts on LinkedIn

• Manus - for building complex systems and projects

Daily actions:

• tell 1 person what I’m thankful to them for

• read a self-development book/listen to a professional podcast for 15 minutes

• make a valuable post/comment on LinkedIn

• tag 15 people in my connections database

• connect with 30 interesting people on LinkedIn

• invite 5 people to join the 👋Friendworking newsletter

Weekly actions:

• transcribe one new episode of the Creator Spotlight and Personal IPO (bi-weekly) podcasts, learn something from them, and connect with guests on LinkedIn

• transcribe two new DOAC videos, and learn one thing from them

• connect 2 people who I believe need to be connected

• ask 30 people about what they want to learn about Community ROI.

If you have any thoughts, ideas, or questions, please 👇

And if you’d like to have more 👋 Friendworking in your life 👇

See you next week! 👋